| About time and love. |
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| 11:05am 15/09/2009 |
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People say that is love what makes the world go around, and they are not too far from the truth. Because instead of time there is only love since we record each moment of lucidity with our minds, and think about things as we cling to them, in a level of love. To think about something to acknowledge its existence it’s a form of love to a certain degree. Time is an illusion where we constantly try to give numbers and order to everything around us, including the order of events. Time has even become even more artificial as we assign a certain amount of what we think are evenly spaced events called seconds in order to quantify the time, and we love this notion greatly as most of us use it without fail every day. But what is an event? An event is a moment of lucidity in wish we take the chance to acknowledge the existence of several things that we believe are happening together in unison. The reason we do this is no other than love, because we want to know, we desire to understand and to record this fleeting moment of lucidness as our own. Anytime we could just stop thinking, and not care about the entire world, maybe our body will then start giving signals as it needs something, but we really need to love our bodies in order to react to those signals, otherwise they would be nonexistent to us. So we have to desire the world in order to see it, we deep inside love what is around us, since it keeps us from the void of madness. And this is why every event is nothing else that love toward the things we believe are around together in an abstract concept we call time. But how can we love the horrible things that happened around us? Why don’t we ignore them? Well as we see them happened to others and to us, we do love them, yet we attach other feelings to those events to cloud what they really are, just moments of loving lucidity for us to explore and perhaps learn to love more, to exist more. If we didn’t acknowledged the existence of the world, the world would cease to exist for us, but because we love the world, it exists.
Love does make the world go round, without it there is only void. |
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| Fatality of time |
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| 11:29pm 08/09/2009 |
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Fatality of time... we live we suffer we give so much importance to our lives, and a few moments later, we have new worries, and the old ones are just memories, memories that slowly dissipate, as meaningful and meaningless as dreams, was it real? All I know is that I might have learned something, something I might forget or perhaps remember one of these days when I fall on the sweet embrace of nostalgia. |
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| A memory, a realization and a law |
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| 02:34am 23/08/2009 |
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A memory, a realization and a law is all I carry in my brown leather bag. Two are blue and one is chrome to reflect the world it has become. One is a memory of a distant past, to teach me well, to teach me again, that happiness exist if hope is never lost. Another is a realization, a gift once forgotten, a sphere once lost, it’s the reminder that I can. And then comes the law, sharp and reflective to link the mundane with the divine, sharp and reflective a building block for the future. One is a shape of free forms, the kind to playfully lie in a person’s neck, lost in a distant sandy shore. Another is a marble, a piece of some mind, one that was lost in a rocky shore. Another is a cube of hard reflective stone, a link to nature’s solid grounds, hidden in an exchange of distant memories. A memory, a realization and a law is all I carry for now. But today is yet to end, and more lessons are to learn, to fill my brown leather bag. |
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| There is no emptiness |
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| 03:20pm 08/08/2009 |
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There is no emptiness
just words from a distance
there is no darkness
just a blink for an instant
I would love to hate you
but the glass is empty
I would hate to love you
but there is no empathy
I swim in a sea of negatives
I look in a broken mirror
in the surface only positives
what has been my error?
I am the nonexistent
I don't do, I don't
you are the inconsistent
you can do, but won't
give me a reason to be
give me is all I know to ask
but now I can't see
since you gave me this mask
binded to the tower of speculations
torn apart by the thorns of reality
all I see are your ill intentions
I am the silent abnormality
and so your god once asked
what have I been doing all this time
so i said that all I did was wander
and cracking a horrible rime
so I gazed to the narrow abyss
and saw my entire world crash
everyone was in a lustful bliss
wile it turned into nothing but ash
and the dragons once cried
and the sea filled with water
but then your god lied
and all you did didn't matter
travel the distant plane
into the great tree
down in the dark lane
you will find me
if I don't answer don't go away
if I don't move don't attempt a grave
I am there but I may not sway
I might look dead but you can't save
I might look dead but I'm alive
more alive than you even know
I live in the empty nonexistent
I live with your mindless inconsistent |
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| The yellow sea |
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| 03:19pm 08/08/2009 |
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The yellow sea
Dare to cross the sea of yellow.
Its dangers unlike the eternal meadow.
Into the star in wish you will know.
Where your seeds need to be sow.
In there you'll understand.
Against who you will stand.
Friend or foe;
you’ll have to go.
Arm yourself with madness.
Feed from all your sadness.
And then do what you must.
Make what’s now into just.
Dare to cross the sea of yellow.
Dangerous waters, evil fellow.
In the star you will know.
In the star you will know. |
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| Terminal nocturne |
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| 03:19pm 08/08/2009 |
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Terminal nocturne
Chased by the lights of the past in terminal nocturne
The black line in the face of the picturesque dancer
Opens the show with the familiarity of the strange
The smell of the herbs that come from the urn
And the lights of the voyagers in the tropic of caner
And the great night begins it magical change
Where is the estimated hand that frustratingly delays?
Trapped in knowledge of visions and shades of grays
Chasing the metal scarabs in plain light of the days
Expectations and hopes to the energies he pays
Chased by the lights of the past in terminal nocturne
Running away from happiness as the moon shines its turn
Nostalgic and scared of the foggy white hand
Good night and good day as I will return to this land. |
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| Sombras del ayer |
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| 03:19pm 08/08/2009 |
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Sombras del ayer
sombras del ayer...
sombras son de hoy...
sombras del amanecer
acojanme hoy...
les pido su acojedor infinito...
para que no sea perdido...
el cantante ya no es muy bonito
sombras del ayer...
diganme lo que soy.
pierdo mis esperansas...
en el dia de hoy.
se rompen las aliansas...
mi vida ya no esta en ti
mi vida ya no se basa en si
por eso es que te pido
que el pasado ya alla sido...
sombras del ayer.
no existe amaneser
piensalo muy bien
y preguntale a quien
una lagrima cautelosa
una buena mosa.
que me de un buen abraso
y que me aga caso
sombras del ayer
diganme que tengo que haser
porque ya me siento lejos
quisiera ser conejos.
por que me miras mal
como agua con sal
porque no me quieres hablar
tengo mucho que charlar.
ven a mi de todas clases
no importa aunque pases
ven a mi con tu vida
aunque mi mente este ida
ayuda me a traerla atras
que se me queda sin mas
que decirte que te amo
pero por algo lo rechaso.
sombras del ayer...
quiero un nuevo amaneser.
ven ami algun dia
y por fin que seas mia..
SOMBRAS DEL AYER!
DEJENME SER!
algo que pueda funsionar...
en un mundo... rasionar. |
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| Mujer de otro mundo |
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| 03:18pm 08/08/2009 |
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Mujer de otro mundo
Esperaste por mi todo el dia.
ahora vengo a rendirle pleitesia.
paciente fuiste por ser mi guia
una musa de suma cortesia
que con el baiben de las olas se mesia.
venias de un mundo de hermosa geometria
fue como un sueno
porque en realmente eso fue.
De los rallos de la luna y el amor de las olas
tu mistica figura se materialiso
tu cuerpo adornado de brillantes escamas
Safiros relucientes en la luz de la luna.
Diosa del mar y de la luna
como tu no hay ninguna
De las entranas de un remolino
de un mundo movil como molino
Emerge la doncella del mar
tal que la llegue a amar,
una amiga y una amante
la luz blanca de un diamante
Una ves acabo tu momento
en mi se formo un tormento
Llevame con tigo a ese mundo lento
que sabes que ser como tu intento |
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| Los limones del tío Alberto |
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| 03:18pm 08/08/2009 |
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Los limones del tío Alberto
Mira!
es el verde limón de tío Alberto
el que se pasaba trabajando en el huerto
Mientras se le iba el porvenir!
Mira!
es el rojo limón de tío Alberto
es que el pobre ya estaba muerto
Sin saber que aquello, no era vivir!
La ira!
es el negro limón de tío Alberto
su sentimiento ya era incierto
su corazón, no podía sentir
Se tira!
es el blanco limón de tío Alberto
yacía derrumbado en su huerto
Y su agrio cosecho... su mentira. |
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| La gran clava! |
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| 03:18pm 08/08/2009 |
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La gran clava! (frustration Poetry)
I'm back from desperation town
and I'm feeling rather down
the moon has cracked before my eyes
its true, I say no lies!
Looking thru the window the trees go black,
the world has fainted and it won't be back
the world is spinning
the people are sinning
and there is nothing I can do!
my head is now a zoo
look at the animals
lets play at the carnivals
digging in the ground
your grave is round
the number is zero
and you got no hero
I just want somebody to help me
my eyes are to open and I can't see
so I just come and ask you...
is there something new? |
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| Inconsistent destruction |
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| 03:18pm 08/08/2009 |
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Inconsistent destruction
give me your instruction
for meaningless induction
lost in other deduction
down comes the cometh
down comes what you get
and all you seem to know
is going to the last low
bring me your little song
screams won't last so long
all you do is very wrong
you might as well play pong
gone with the screams
shot by your beams
lost in your eyes
changing like dice
those who sing to the wise
no one will come to rise
all you see is a lie
and all you love will die
romanticizing death tolls
playing with broken dolls
forgetting all your goals
fighting with electric trolls
why I keep doing this
when I should be in total bliss
is that all you give is fake
destroyed is all I make. |
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| disjointed terminals |
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| 03:17pm 08/08/2009 |
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disjointed terminals
little scraps
crumbles of bread
only when they drop
from your line
filtered love
monochrome
symbolic devils
doomed to a page
cry cry cry
laugh laugh laugh
at at at
not
with with with
little lines
your not online
frozen in a box
gray text dead
give your textual
pleasure
pain
give your fingers
in my grave
caress the keys
fly away
to the space bar
look at me
looking at meaning
giving soul
calculation devil
soul devoured
by the numbers
and the forms
and the songs
why why why
if if if
not not not
crumble stick
go away
don't leave me
stay here
devour me
listen to
this awesome silence
listen to
empty chambers
go together
to the meadow
give hugs
with asterix
all your keys
lock me
all my keys
define me
shadows light
bad contrast
programs end
never begin
give me space
come to space
all you own
does not exist
give me body
I'm tired of electrics
and the touches
away from keys
tell what to do
command me
tired of
plain old C
if this line
cuts away
behind me
zeros be
my grave |
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| Desde La Nocturna Profecía |
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| 03:17pm 08/08/2009 |
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Desde La Nocturna Profecía
Restaurando un viejo pensamiento
Enigma fructífero del oscuro firmamento
Sensible esperanza del sueño que siento
Una historia se repite desde anciano aliento
No puedo creer tal espejismo escondido
Un dejavu que del cual me había rendido
Una profecía escrita con un velón encendido
Del subconsciente una musa que no he vendido
Cuando escriba la historia parecería que miento
Si solo será ficción no me lamento
Pero de soñar este sueño no me arrepiento
A mi confuso despertar creo que tiento
Si por querer creer el dios se ha ofendido
Y de esta profecía molesto me ha dividido
Creyendo que toda mi vida estaría perdido
Escribiré la historia para que quede sorprendido |
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| A tu interpretacion. |
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| 03:17pm 08/08/2009 |
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A tu interpretacion.
Cuando vas caminando
Mirando a todo lado
Lo sientes venir
Como un huracán que se hace sentir
Empiezas tu día de trabajo
Y desde muy abajo
Lo sientes venir
Como una marejada sin mentir
Y es que tu cuerpo se estremece
Y tu vida deja de verse
No puedes pensar
En nada mas por conversar
Es que Solo quiere correr,
A donde pueden ser.
Y la gente te pregunta
Pero ya ti no te importa
Solo quieres correr
Y al publico no ver
Y ese cosquilleo amargo
Que brota de su estomago.
De tus entrañas surge un amor
Por algo material un ardor
Y solo quieres correr...
Y solo quieres correr. |
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| A path of images. |
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| 03:10pm 08/08/2009 |
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A path of images.
The wind mill grind what’s left of my mind, a beautiful line points to the wine. All the things we forget are gone in the big set. Gone to the land where tears turn to sand. And once the job is done, I will be gone. The madman will run and the show has just begun
And then comes those who lurk in darkness,
They look for everything but just gain madness.
A sea of things forever lost
hold to that wish you cherish the most
as for all those who walk
and the others who stalk
the road is always the same
some look for men others for dame
but in the way and the end
all they see and what they send
is the blackness of their egoistical souls
creeping in them like devilish ghouls
pulling them back to the ground
where they form their gloomy town
sowing their cursed seeds
standing in nothing but greed
and their abominable reality
becomes what they thought as abnormality
what have you done with your heart
it has turned in just another wart
what have you done with your mind
to your body it has been bind
as long as your keep living this lie
your going to evidently die. |
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| Firefox Bookmarks yayness |
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| 02:23pm 08/08/2009 |
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Ah a brand new morning for going around doing the same over and over again… well did you know that you could open multiple tabs in Firefox? It’s easy! All you have to do is go to your bookmark right click them and add select to open all in tabs, you can bookmark all your daily “to do”-s in a big folder and just open them all in a tabs so you can just go one by one doing what you need to do. Its better than searching for each of them links separately. So yay. |
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| The beginning of a new era. |
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| 08:05pm 07/08/2009 |
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Well it’s been a while since I been on the internet, and guess what? I am pretty damn bored, so it’s time to go around and around and actually do something no?
Well I’m a programmer from Puerto Rico, looking to expand the community and well talk about pretty much anything that isn’t trendy. Because trendy isn’t trendy, strange is cool and all that.
So today I start a new game, and yes I just lost it. I begin expanding the network so I’m new to a bunch of stuff at the same time becoming “THE SUPPER NEWBIE”.
Oh I forgot I am also an otherkin. Yeah say what you want.
Lets see how well this sinks |
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| 10 Important Lessons by Pamagester |
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| 12:02am 31/01/2007 |
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mood:  bored music: Plastic Fan
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My name is Pamagester; I’m 19 years old. My life has been short and I haven’t been very successful yet. But there are some rules some guidelines I have gathered along my life, they might be obvious, some sound pessimistic. But maybe they might help someone, maybe ruin another. Just take in consideration that I have no friends irl. Though my life revolves around the Internet, I do socialize in the Internet. So they might only apply to the Internet.
10 Important Lessons by Pamagester
1) When someone talks badly about their lover, just smile and nod. They are exaggerating.
2) When a woman is angry with you and she is lecturing you. Just smile and nod. If you try to defend yourself she will take your words against you, if you give her the reason, it won't be enough and she will take it against you.
3) If your friend wants you to meet his woman. Turn your head and run away. You won't see him again until he breaks up, otherwise, he will get angry and break up with you.
4) If your friend is talking badly about your other friends. Stop being friend with this person; he is talking badly about you with your friends.
5) If you like a woman, never tell her you love her. She will make your life a suffering.
6) If your friend with the opposite sex never take it to the next level, you will loose a friend and earn a short-term relationship.
7) If your having fun, don't tell anyone. Everyone will take it against you.
8) If you’re having a hard time, don't tell anyone. They will get annoyed and walk away.
9) Discussions in the Internet are pointless. They are like sending angry letters to an angry blind man.
10) Those who hold grudges and talk a lot about you are the ones that really care about you and need you. But don't deserve your friendship |
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| the dragon cage |
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| 11:58am 22/01/2007 |
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mood:  blank
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The experimental woods, found by the third highway that borders the Juana Diaz city toward the south. This woods are often filled with strange creatures, closed and abandoned buildings filled with dangerous experiments, caves with beings that could turn you into a dried bag of skin by sucking you. The nights in this wood are dangerous filled with glowing moth and other sort of creatures that can drive anyone insane. It was there were one of the scientist contacted me, about an important experiment were I needed to participate. They say the project lasted for 13 days; it was part of my college studies so I had to do it, and there was also a price in the end that I would like. So with so many reasons I couldn’t decline. Day one started without me even noticing, it seems it was already noon and there was other three in the cage. One male and two female; the male looked around its 19s same age as me, yet taller, in human form he was white with black hair, in dragon form he was western, blue with a white underbelly. One of the women in human form was about the same height as the male, yet her hair was walnut color, her dragon form was similar to the guy’s yet she was anthro. The last of the female was rather small and normally in her dragon form wish was also rather small, knee high. The first day was rather awkward and we just selected some pieces of furniture and placed in the four corners of the room, that day we distanced from each other, but it wasn’t long before the second day emerged, like if something had erased our memories, we were in another cell and this time it was sunset. The two blue dragons talked a bit and seemed to start a friendship. The day also ended unexpectively we appeared in another cage, this time we began talking more to each other about everything, later in the night the two blue dragons starting having sex with each other both in human form and later in dragon and anthro dragon form. There was another time jump and we were in day 11, it was late at night but before midnight that night I was included in the mating, forming a threesome, the yellow dragon was ignored and I felt sorry for her. To not show any details of this part, the day ended in the middle of the act and we woke up in yet another cage, day 12 really close to midnight, we were all kind of exited about the mating, yet, it started to rain and our furniture started to get soaked, so we began moving the driest pices of furniture to the center to form a big pile. I began getting paranoid I knew that there was something outside. Between the darkness and rain I could see something moving in the woods. This was not surprising due to the strange activities sometimes happened in there yet, this time it was worrying me. Before we could finish a pick up truck smashed into the side of the cage and made a hole that went from one side to the other. From the truck jumped a woman dressed almost like a witch, but her clothes give an air of someone religious. She walked menacingly toward me and I found myself trapped in a corner of a cage, she looked like she was going to kill me so I got all defensive until she spoke. It was one of the scientists of the forest, accompanied by her husband. But this scientist was different, she was one of the original scientist daughter of one of the owners of the forest, normaly working with reception and information. She was in charge of all the information of all the different experiments that went in the woods, someone that I knew well, since I usually frequent her to get information. She told us we had to leave at once if we stayed one more day our minds would been completely overridden and we would end up staying there for 13 years or even more. So after some complaining and hesitation we understood she was telling the truth and escaped with her, just to notice we were near one of the great lakes in USA, yet this one was all dirty, the coast line was all filled with parked airplanes, some people were walking around drinking, many wooden buildings seemed abandoned around there. The females were separated from the male, and we were walking around following the scientist husband, wile we talked about “Join the army” commercials and how they made it look like the army was exactly what I needed. The airplanes looked all weird their wings were folded, and the cockpit had a face of a pilot carved into it. After a wile of walking the dragon guy stop to pee in one of the cockpits, wile laughing thinking what the pilot would say when they sit in a stinky cockpit. The dream ended… |
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| Today I dreamed |
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| 06:47pm 17/01/2007 |
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mood:  crazy
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Today I dreamed someting short because it was a 1 hour sleep. I don't remember well but I was enslaved allong with my family and some unknown people to work for some evil people... I killed the evil people...
yesterday I dreamed That I whent to play a game, and in that game I was a newbie but for some reason since I have been so long for so much hours in the internet, that made me a hell of a powerful newbie since I had internet expirience and adiction
yeah I am adicted, its nothing new. |
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pamagester's journal